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He said, “So should I stop at the gas station before I see you?”
She said, “Why?”
He said, “Condoms, alcohol, weed.”
Courtesy of: I didn’t know you bought weed at Exxon

“You’ve been watching too much ‘Kung Fu Panda.’”

“Who will I have sex with when you’re gone?”
“Um..NO ONE???”

As soon as he came, he said, “Now why dont you put your boots on and shake your ass home…”

I have a scar from the last time.

Quote of the Day

“This is the most exercise I’ve gotten in a long time, other than walking up and down the stairs and to class,” he said.

Her: Wait, do you even know my name?
Him: Sarah?
Her: No, (laughing) but I don’t know yours either so I’m not mad.
Courtesy of: It was totally worth it