“Don’t lick my toes. I need a pedicure.”

“That is why bathrooms are scandalous,” he said.

“Who is the gift for?” he said. “…The giver.”

(Courtesy of: he was downtown at the time.)

“I could kill a duck with this thing right now!” he said.

“Well, like you, she was also a unique person,” he said. “And it’s just that she and I never had closure. Look, it’s not like I’m trolling the streets for her!”

“You sound like Rick James!” he said.

Quote of the Day

“Wake up, hon. I’m about to have an orgasm.”