“I usually think you have body odor,” he said, “but you smell so good right now!”

“Oh my god,” he said, drunk. “You were completely coherent for that entire experience!”
(Courtesy of: Completely sober)

“I’m sorry if I’m really bad tonight. I haven’t had sex in two weeks.”
(Courtesy of: The One That…)

“We’ve got 15 minutes before the chicken is ready,” he said.
“Perfect,” she said.