“Do you like having your teeth licked?”

She farted.
“Should i check my knees for shit?” he said.

“Can we name it Superman?” he said.

(Courtesy of: No.)

“So…are you on the pill?” he said.
“No…that’s why I gave you a condom,” she said. “…Right?”
He said…nothing.

(Courtesy of: & we were extremely drunk, & he was a stranger)

His First Time

“Ok,” he said. “Let’s see if I can remember health class.”

“I never thought I’d ever say this,” he said, “but let’s get dressed before we get arrested.”

(Courtesy of: in a car while a parade is going by.)

“You’re like an Energizer bunny,” she said.